Weight Gain & Disappearing Acts
For a while I was kidding myself, I believed it was just holiday weight from all the Christmas calories consumed. But its now almost 6 months after the festive season and I’ve come to the conclusion, that I’ve just gotten bigger. I keep trying to shed this extra weight with dance classes, 7 mile walking sessions and tasteless sad, all to no avail. Dieting while depressed isn’t plausible, sugar is no substitute for serotonin but it’s a shitty, addictive and comforting habit. I’ve had my feelings repeatedly fucked with this year and wine has been my best friend. Wine has been there to ease all my platonic, professional and romantic woes. Unfortunately all this wine and cheesecake has made me extra chunky and now I find myself avoiding mirrors and social situations – I don’t particularly like to be around people when I feel this pudgy. I’ve temporarily disabled by other Instagram, partly because my employees found it and I’m thinking about going through a re-brand. But mostly because me and my fupa are not friends and I’m too fragile to withstand criticism of social media and I’m too fragile to feel vulnerable. I feel like I’m drowning in my insecurities; pictures feel like permanent reminders of my defects. I don’t even like doing group pictures, I hide at the back or play the more comfortable photographer.
This beautiful set from ‘With Love Lily’ was the last thing I posted on my now defunct Instagram page, Consisting of a triangle bralet, suspender belt, thong and a embordered trim robe, this 4-piece lingerie set was a random Christmas indulgence. I would describe ‘With Love Lily’ as an Instagram boutique with a clientele acquired from a social media and the effective use of seeding/ gifting campaign. Unlike some social media brands, their independent success has made the transition from Instagram boutique to a more reputable clothing company with their entry into ASOS. With Love Lilly specialised in delicate, floral embroidered based lingerie pieces, nothing especially amazing but always prettyI purchased this set from ASOS, because I had 20% discount and free next day delivery. . Unfortunately the ‘With Love Lily’ instagram page consists of conventionally skinny individuals and traditional Western ideals of beauty. I would feel more upset if the product didn’t solely suit skinny people, like as you can see my fupa is hanging out from all sides.
So now I don’t know when I’m going to be back posting. my body still doesn’t bang and my mental hasn’t improved. However my creative juices as cliché as they sound are flowing. I’m feeling very in touch with my emotions, thinking in beautifully constructed conceits, tangents and imagery. I have had my heart broken again recently and my birthday is next week – which always sends me into a spell. I’m trying to get back into writing, creating content and collages and quite frankly being happier.
FINAL CONCLUSION: This set is big boob friendly (the company even does special alterations for customers with breast augmentations). Unfortunately fat girl friendly it is not.